Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Face Off 07x10 - Scared Silly

SPOILERS



Previously - Lois is really the only person on the panel who can get away with saying 'mimsy' and not have it sound completely stupid.

Okay, so we start this episode in the middle of the night.  All the contestants are sleeping, and they're woken up by creepy-ass laughing and a voice telling them to go to the lab at 2 AM.  We're going for a scary challenge, I would imagine.  The laugh is like a clown's laugh, and that displeases me.  I don't like clowns.  That will be a big theme in this week's episode - my intense dislike and repulsion by clowns.  I don't run away screaming when I see one, but they make my skin crawl.  All I can picture when I'm looking at a clown is a dirty mattress with restraints attached to it, in the back of a panel van.  I used to work at McDonald's, and whenever Ronald would show up for events, I would tell the manager to keep him away from me.  Clowns look like child molesters.

Anyway, the group gets to the lab, and it's pitch black so they have to feel their way around while we watch with a night vision camera, all Silence Of The Lambs like.  A Silence Of The Lambs challenge would be cool!  They're all startled when a TV monitor turns on all of a sudden, and McKenzie's face shows up.  They're doing all kinds of effects, and she's acting scary.  It's cool at first, but they kind of overdo it a tad.  She then leaves them in the pitch black again to find their sketchbooks and come up with designs.  Very cruel of you at 3 in the morning, my dear McKenzie.

And what are they designing?  Evil Clowns.  Yay.....  Before the challenge, I guess each person took a survey, and they had to put in what their childhood fear was.  So, if someone, like me, had put in that they're afraid of clowns, would they have been asked to choose something different?  But funnily enough, clowns weren't a fear of mine in childhood.  Most of my fears (like pregnancy, which is a bigger phobia to me than clowns) grew in adulthood.  I was never afraid of bugs or that sort of stuff.  I was always afraid of getting in trouble (like insanely so), but that's kind of a hard fear to physically represent.  I did see the movie Critters at a very young age and had nightmares about eaten out corpses with hollow torsos and only skin and bones left over.  My nightmares were actually WAYYYYYYY more gruesome than that movie ever was, so I guess I'd have to go with devoured, hollow corpses as my childhood fear.

Says a lot about me, doesn't it?

George's childhood fear was worms, Dina's was tornadoes, Cig's was dark water, Damien and Drew both had spiders, Sasha was afraid of old dolls, Stella's was monsters under the bed, and Rachel said cockroaches.  So, they have to feel around the lab again to find their tablets so they can start working on their concepts.  After about half an hour, the lights come on, and they have to get right to work.  So, it's still the middle of the night and they have to do this.  I'd be falling asleep.

Sasha is doing something a bit different, and since her fear was old dolls (which she now loves, but hated as a kid), she's making a doll that's wearing clown makeup.  Because of my connection with dolls (more fashion than antique porcelain though), I'm very intrigued by hers.  George spends a bunch of time working on his face, but then realizes that the segmented way he was going to do it like a worm's body makes it actually look like a log of poop.  He says he doesn't have time to change it, but does anyway, because... well, poop.

Mr. Westmore comes around with McKenzie and gives advice to people.  He's not digging Dina's concept with her tornado clown.  She's in a tough spot conceptually right now, since tornadoes is one of those fears that's hard to translate into a makeup.  She was going to have the tornado be the hair, and it would have been ripping the clown's face off.  It's a cool drawing, but Mr. Westmore doesn't think it would translate well.  Dina kind of agrees.  She's not really into this makeup, so by the end of day, she wants to sleep on it to see if she can think of something better.  That's kind of a scary place to be in.

The next day, George is wearing shortie shorts.  His ass isn't hanging out, so they're just short jorts, not true booty shorts, but he's doing it to liven the mood in the lab, and to liven his own mood, since he didn't have a great Day 1 with his poop-face worm clown.  Dina's also having a better day.  She slept on her concept, and decided to bring some more fun into it.  She decides to have it so her clown was outside at a kid's party, and got caught in a storm, and is now impaled by all kinds of party stuff, including a balloon animal in the hair.  So, she's got some catching up to do, but she's feeling a lot better about her concept.

Damien's, however, not in a better place.  His concept is to have his clown be full of little spiders, who have all been living inside his body, and are now exploding out of him.  But, he has to MAKE the little spiders, and that's apparently a lot harder for him than it would seem.  He tries a bunch of different stuff that doesn't work, and wastes a lot of time before he finds a way that does work.  Sasha also has the incredible idea to do a doll scalp with the holes for the rooted hair.  It looks SO cool, and so much like a doll would have.  I honestly cannot wait to see hers finished.  She's really driven this week, since she's been in the bottom a lot lately, and really wants to prove that the judges didn't waste the save on her.

Application Day - their models are real clowns, and they're going to be doing a clown show on the stage, which affected some of the design and costume choices.  George has issues with the fact that his face and arms don't look the same color (and that the face looks like a giant mess, but that's another issue), and Damien's having issues with his chin edges staying down, as in they won't.

Here are the final looks - they stay together pretty well after the performance.  As for the performance itself, I'll describe it as 'uncomfortable'.  Everyone on stage seems to like it, but again.... me and clowns don't mix, so I'm not that amazed, and I'm just glad that I'm not there.  If I were on that reveal stage, I would have had my back to the show the whole time.  Yep, I don't like clowns.  Just the thought of being that 'straight girl' in the middle of the performance and having the clowns touch me.... EW!

Cig's dark water clown turned out GREAT.  The Kryolon Aqua makeup dripped perfectly, and it looks waterlogged and gross.  The profile of the nose is really creepy, like a corpse.

Would you like a balloon, little girl?  It's in the back of my van...

Dina's tornado clown actually turned out really good.  The clown paint looks very lived in and realistic, and the card half-scalping the clown looks great.  It's a good thing she did change her concept.  The lesson?  Always listen to Mr. Westmore.



Up next is Stella's Monster Under The Bed Clown.  The paint job is good, but I'm just not feeling hers.  Although, truth be told, if I found that under my bed, I would kill it with fire.  LOTS OF FIRE.



Now we have Damien's Baby Spiders Clown.  I just gotta say, I have a pit in my stomach with this guy.  The makeup is unoriginal and the cavities that the spiders are coming out of don't have any depth to them, but because the clown dude is so huge, I just DO NOT LIKE.  KILL IT WITH MORE FIRE.



Next up is the other Spider Clown, which isn't much better than Damien's.  Lots of people are afraid of spiders (I'm not one of them, I love spiders), so this seems like it should have been a cross-over that would have worked perfectly, but both aren't great.  I think the paint on Damien's is better.  The eyes look weird on this one, and the nose just makes no sense.  I know it was supposed to be a spider leg, but that was a bad idea to begin with.



Sasha's!  Oh man, it turned out so good.  The paint on the lips is PERFECT, and the color of the porcelain is spot on.  It's like she's Annabelle's clown sister (the doll from The Conjuring, and the upcoming movie Annabelle)



Here we are with George's worms.  It looks more like his face is made of a brain.  Meh.



And lastly, we have Rachel.  Here's another 'meh'.  She should have done that brown hairspray trick on the back of the cowl to make it look slimy and dirty.



So, the top looks are Sasha, Dina, and Cig.  I agree with those.  This week, the ones that were good were great, and all the other ones were way below them.  The two bottom looks are Drew and Damien, both the Spider Clowns.  I maybe would have put George's in the bottom, too.  I just didn't like it.  I LOVED Sasha's though.  And she's the winner.  Good for her, proving that they didn't waste the save.  She's back on her game.

I figured that Drew would go home because his looked really terrible with that stupid 'leg' nose, but Damien's the one to go.  The judges often punish the lowest-hanging fruit, as they call it, even if it's more well done than something more original that turned out crappy.

Next week?  Monster High challenge....?

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