So, it was pointed out to me last week, that when I wrote about the pilot of Gotham, I didn't actually say if I liked it or not. I did like it, very much. And this episode is even better! We got the "HEY, FAMILIAR CHARACTERS" thing out of the way, and I'm hoping that future episodes will follow the kind of format that was in this episode. That format being a procedural. Even before Batman ever existed, Gotham City was a shithole full of crime and corruption. Hell, that's why Batman exists. So, long before Batman, there are going to be plenty of bad people doing bad things that have zero to do with Batman. Like this episode.
For this show, I think I'm going to break it down by what happened with each character instead of going scene by scene. When I do my Face Off write-ups, I have the episode going on my computer and I'm pausing while things are happening, but I think I won't do that with Gotham.
Okay, so lets's start with the title character, Selina Kyle. She prefers to be called Cat. She, along with other homeless kids, are the target of a child-snatching ring, led by people who say 'gosh' and 'fudge' instead of cursing, but have no problem selling children into overseas slavery. Since Cat's a damn good cat burglar already, she evades them the first time around. The kids are taken to this creepy basement with a bottomless pit (for all intents and purposes).
Bullock and Gordon get the case after one of the kids escapes by getting flung into a plate glass window at a shi-shi restaurant. Harvey's solution to solving the case is to punch everybody he ever saw. Gordon, of course, thinks that this is a terrible idea. He also thinks that hiding the story from the press is a terrible idea. And whenever he tries to play the noble card, Bullock brings up his 'shooting' Oswald.
Gordon and Bullock track the drug that was in Mackie's system (thanks to a very dorky and cute Edward who doesn't know when to leave a room after giving them evidence that this out-of-use drug that was once used on Arkham patients to the cops), and only a few companies have it. Like, seriously, it's adorable. As he's lurking outside the office, he needs some of that sneaking music they used in the Loony Toons cartoons. So, they track down the place, and have a firefight with the two incapable of swearing child snatchers. One of them is Lili Taylor, and it's awesome. They get away in a truck with a 'dish and fork' logo (Harvey finally gets to beat someone up - with a phone book, no less!) that's given up by the owner of the chemical depot. The kids are rescued and everyone is happy. The mayor is happy, the police are happy, the newspapers are happy, the kids are kind of happy but not really that they are wearing super-preppy clothes donated by Bruce Wayne. Selina's not happy because she's being sent upstate.
Oh yeah, the mayor is a dick. Richard Kind is the actor's name, but the mayor isn't kind. He says that the cute ones go into foster care, and every one of the other kids gets to go to jail without passing go, and without collecting $200 or a fair trial. He seems fine with this. Until one of the buses going upstate is hijacked by the clean-mouthed kiddie-snatchers. Whoops.
Selina is on said bus, and when all the kids are loaded into a shipping container sent off to God knows where, Selina uses her awesome cat burglar skills to hide on the bus while Lili Taylor is searching for her to give her to "The Dollmaker". She runs off into the warehouse, and turns into quite the little badass. She winds up scratching out the eyes of one of the flunkies. And I don't just mean scratching his eyes, but they're fucking GONE. I like her. ^.^
She, however, winds up getting caught when a locket she stole earlier falls out of her pocket and gives her away. Time to go back to cat burglar school, Selina! But, she's saved from being shot by Gordon tackling Lili Taylor, and Bullock holding his gun on the other dude (who I've seen in lots of other things before). They're heroes again! The paper is happy again! Selina has to go upstate again! But she's having none of that. She pretty much owns the world and becomes the biggest brat and asks for Gordon. She wants to give the information up about what she saw at the Wayne murder scene so she doesn't have to go back to juvie. Gordon is very ready to listen.
Onto the sections that I like to call "Oswald needs a hug". He's shuffling down the road, trying to hitch a ride. Finally a car stops, but jerks him around before finally letting him in. Surprise, it's a couple of dick dude-bros. They give Oswald a beer at least, but then make fun of how when he walks, he looks like a penguin. Mistake! Oz smashes the beer bottle and then goes stabby stabby on the dudes in the car. He winds up pulling up to this... farm? I think it's a farm. It's in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, there's a crap trailer for rent that Oz wants to rent. He doesn't care what it looks like on the inside, and he has to hide the fact that he's got bodies in the back of his truck when the landlord wants to admire it.
Meanwhile, Montoya and MCU go to visit Oswald's mother, who is Carol Kane. I wonder if his dad is Billy Crystal as Miracle Max???? That would RULE. Anyway, Cobblepot is just an Americanized pronunciation of "Kapulput", and she's going on about how handsome and successful and well-dressed her baby is, and that he's probably in the clutches of some slut, and that's why he hasn't come home. Montoya and her partner (sorry, can't ever remember his name - he's just Montoya's partner for now) fail to tell Oswald's mother that her son is dead, and are more interested in making sure that people don't mistake them for GCPD. They're the non-lying cops!!!! Except that they're lying about her son being alive (when he actually is alive because Gordon lied to keep the lying cops lying so the non-lying cops would think that he was lying).
Oswald has decorated his little shit box trailer with a map of Gotham and pictures of everyone in the city that he wants to get back at (Gordon's picture is there too - hey, he saved your life! Way to be grateful). Turns out that one of the dude-bros is still alive, and Oswald is holding him for ransom. Too bad apparently the kid is a shit, and his mother doesn't believe that this is real, and winds up just hanging up on Oswald. Ow, right in the ego. Nothing's going right for Oswald. That's why he needs a hug. But not from Fish. She thinks he's dead, but she still wants to kill him some more.
Fish winds up having a meeting with Carmine Falcone at her club, and he gives her a friendly threatening about going up against him, and beats up her boy toy for some extra measure. You know that you're scary when you can just scream 'get out', and your whole club empties out within 2 minutes. She's PISSED. She wants Carmine Falcone dead, and wants to do it with her bare hands and teeth. Atta girl! And she also wishes Oswald were around so she could torture him some more.
And we also have some Bruce. Bruce burning himself, Bruce cutting himself, Bruce drawing disturbing images while listening to heavy metal to himself. Alfred is obviously worried. This Alfred has more of a temper than the normal 'stiff upper lip Brit' Alfreds that we're used to seeing. He also yells at Bruce for sneaking up on people, which is 'bloody rude'. Isn't it bloody rude to yell at someone in front of company too, Alfred? Huh? Huh? Alfred goes to Gordon and asks him to speak with Bruce because of this destructive behavior. Bruce points out that he's testing himself. You know, when you really think about it, Batman is just as psycho as the criminals he goes up against.... Think about it.
So, next week, it looks like Oswald comes home (and he'll probably get in trouble again because while The Penguin does become a criminal kingpin, right now he's a total fuck up who needs a hug), and Montoya sticks her nose into Jim and Barbara's relationship. Again.
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