SPOILERS
Oh Mannnnnnnnnn, this was a long week with no Coven. Was it really Delphine's blood, or was it Queenie's?! Is Luke on his way with his bag of guns and crocodile tears to blow up the Witch House?! How was the undead threesome?! (God I'm still mad that got cut away from - that scene soooo needed a Game Of Thrones treatment!) And I'm watching the last little bit of the last ep before the new one starts, and I'm still laughing at Kathy Bates in that outfit. It's so cute and wrong at the same time.
Oh, Queenie is still alive. I guess I was wrong. And she totally went turncoat REAL fucking fast. As a fat girl who never fit in, I know how that feels, though, so I can't completely hate on Queenie for wanting to do anything to keep her new sense of belonging. Including ripping out some dude's heart for a voodoo potion. He was apparently a rapist, so then it's okay. (Yes, I'm actually serious).
Fiona is slowly falling apart, and comments that she's more Endora than Samantha now, which is HAH. She's going through the agony of chemotherapy and cancer, and Cordelia is less than sympathetic.
Oh hell, Luke's mom is so fucking gross. She hides behind the mask of Bible Black righteousness, but she's just as evil and abusive as those she claims are evil. She makes her son give himself an enema, or some sort of gross 'cleaning' beer bong. Nan can hear Luke's cries of distress, but Cordelia won't let her go to him. She is very serious now about the coven's status (and she doesn't even know the half of it - stupid husband), and says that Queenie is dead to her. Misty shows up while they're plotting Fiona's murder and asks for sanctuary from a shotgun-wielding assassin (Maybe Hank...?). She brings Myrtle along, who believes that Misty is the next Supreme. Cordelia's like "...hmm..."
They have a ceremony where they all look like pretty Spanish ladies. It's called The Sacred Taking (annnnddd we have an episode title). It's to invoke the new Supreme into power. One problem is that Fiona won't kill herself. The makeup on Jessica Lange here is incredible. She looks like complete, realistic cancer suffer, hell. Madison shows up all ghostly-like in a sexy red dress, giving Fiona the choice between the stake and suicide. She chooses a suitcase, but then Myrtle shows up and does the ghost routine. She shows Fiona her slow, lonely death.
Nan wonders why she can't be the Supreme, and asks the other girls' opinions. They don't really answer, and she gets pissed off and takes off next door to find Luke, who's bound and gagged. This season is full of shitty mothers. Delphine, Fiona, Kyle's mom, Luke's mom... Nan rescues Luke, but then they're stopped by his mother, until she's shot up by a sniper rifle. Luke throws himself in front of Nan, taking a bullet that was meant for her. Well, damn. Poor cute cannon fodder neighbor boy.
Myrtle finally gets Fiona to take her pills, but then Spaulding shows up. Whaaaa? He's the only ACTUAL ghost in this whole performance. I don't even know what to call Axe-Man anymore. Living specter? Spaulding can talk to her now that he's in the spirit world, and he calls Fiona on her weakness that's out of character. The Fiona Goode he serves doesn't give up, and she doesn't do anything noble. He makes her take ipicac to barf up the pills and gives her the skinny on the trick.
Oh, Delphine! I hate you but I love you. Queenie brings her some food, and Delphine sadly wonders what she did to deserve the betrayal. Queenie looks sad and guilty. Their friendship was oddly touching, because of great writing, and even greater acting. But then the goddess Marie shows up (those cheekbones!!!), and Delphine refuses to show Marie fear, since she can't be killed. But, she can be dismembered, and Marie shows that by cutting off her hand. GOD, I don't know how to feel in these scenes. Delphine deserves it, but Marie's also a bitch. I like them both and hate them both. Emotional conflict!!!!
Fiona makes her grand re-entance, and goes face-to-face with Misty. She asks Misty to resurrect Patti Lupone (whyyyyy???), and Cordelia sees the assassin by touching a blessed silver bullet, which can only mean Witch Hunters. Fiona and her have a bonding moment. Fiona doesn't hold ill will for the murder attempt, and is actually pretty impressed with her. They then get a box. Which contains Delphine's head. Sheeeesh.
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